


Someone She Can Be Proud Of

by bilgegungoren00



Series: A Boy from Daxam and a Girl from Krypton (KaraMel) [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Guilt, Mon-El point of view, and their ship name is the best, isn't he so cute, just wrote this because there weren't many fanfics of them, major spoilers for 2x06, prerelationship Karamel, supergirl 2x06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8644207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: Supergirl Episode 2x06 from Mon-El POVWhen Kara almost dies in the hands of the Parasite, Mon-El is forced to think whether he can be a hero or not.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sooooooooo guess who has a new ship in Supergirl! I actually shipped Mon-El and Kara for some time now, basically the first time they interacted, yet until last week it wasn't that bad. They just had a chemistry that Kara didn't have with any of the other characters, and no matter how cliche their story was I couldn't help being drawn in. However, when I looked online, I could barely find any fanfics about them, so as a fanfic writer I thought why not I write one? This was in my mind for two days now (which is probably why it took me less than 2 hours to write it).
> 
> By the way, there are spoilers from Supergirl 2x06, so if you haven't watched it yet, you're warned.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“Something changed when Dr. Jones drained Kara and J’onn at the same time,” Alex was saying as she paced around the med bay at the DEO. “I don’t know, it might be one too many alien DNA’s in his system, but he’s mutated.” She finally stopped walking right in front of her sister, holding her breath. She was trying to stay calm, be that professional DEO agent everyone thought her to be, yet Mon-El could see the tension in her straight back and shoulders and her lips that were pressed together. She was worried about her sister. Despite being only adoptive sisters, the two were closer than biological ones, having a deep bond that went many years back. Alex was _afraid_ of losing Kara. Well, in her defense, Kara had almost _died_ tonight.

 _And whose fault is that?_ Mon-El thought, staring at the girl in question from the room’s door. Even from afar she looked terrible, like she’d aged thirty years in a matter of hours. Almost all her power had been drained out of her, and if the DEO had been a little late, just a _little_ , she’d be in a coffin instead of a hospital bed.

Even the thought made Mon-El shiver as he pushed his hands farther down the pockets of his cardigan, suddenly feeling cold. He couldn’t take her eyes off of Kara. He was never the one to ponder on _what ifs_ , he lived his life at the moment, and he liked it too. Even on Daxam he didn’t have to worry about the future. Now he also had powers, which helped in both protect himself and earn money. It’d seemed like _such_ a good idea at the moment.

He wasn’t so sure now. He closed his eyes, going back to that moment in the back alley. He could almost see Kara in front of him. She’d been disappointed, and she hadn’t even tried to hide it. Why would she anyway? She had every right to be upset. She’d almost called on him for being a Daxamite, but even then Mon-El knew it was more than just him being from a planet Kara thought consisted of criminals. It was because she’d believed in him. Granted, he hadn’t given her any reason not to, he even told her he’d found some job in a way, but he also didn’t give her a reason to believe in him either. Yet she did. She’d believed in him, tried to help him, and Mon-El had paid her back by abandoning her when she needed his help.

He could’ve been there with Kara and J’onn. He could’ve tried to help. Maybe he wasn’t trained as Kara, or maybe he wasn’t as good a person as Kara was, but he could’ve helped. And maybe if he had, Kara wouldn’t be hurt and almost dead. Maybe she would be okay.

He couldn’t bear going into the room. He couldn’t bear it. It was his fault. Indirectly or directly, it didn’t matter.

“Any updates?” James distracted him from his thoughts as he entered the room. Mon-El realized after a couple of seconds that James was looking at him, expecting for him to answer. And what could he say? _No, Kara is still not awake and not really getting better. It could’ve been prevented if I actually been there for her, but I wasn’t, so it’s actually my fault she’s in that situation right now, and I can’t fix it_? Yeah, that would go real well.

Mon-El prepared himself to say something, at least a no, or maybe an apology, but nothing came out of his mouth. There was this huge knot in his throat that was blocking the words, shoving them down in his stomach and making him sick. He needed to leave. He couldn’t stay there anymore. Nobody was pointing fingers at him, yes, but he could still feel everyone’s eyes on himself, weighing him down, so much so that he felt like his knees could give up any time. He shook his head.

“Sorry, I…” he could finally say as he turned away from the med bay, not meeting James’s eyes. “I have to go.” He didn’t even wait for an answer as he left the room behind, leaving Kara to her real friends that had always been there for her when she needed it. He didn’t deserve to be there anyway, he didn’t deserve to worry about her.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when he was sitting at the underground alien bar, a drink in his hand. There were two others in front of him that Giggles had sent yet again, only he didn’t think he could stomach flirting with anyone right now. So he drank. That seemed to be the only thing he did right anyway.

His shoulders tensed when he heard the familiar voice to his left: Alex Danvers. “M’gann! Thank God, you’re here.” He clenched his teeth, swishing the almost transparent liquid around the glass as he forced himself to keep his eyes on the table and not look at the agent. Maybe she wouldn’t see him. Maybe she wouldn’t see how much a failure he was, drinking his problems away instead of facing them and trying to fix them. His heart was pounding in his ears, so much so that he didn’t understand one word of M’gann and Alex’s conversation. He did notice it ended, though, and prayed to whatever God was there for Alex to ignore him and just leave.

He wasn’t that lucky, of course.

“Thirsty?” the woman asked, standing at the other side of the bar. Mon-El tried to put himself together quickly as he looked at her, forcing a smile. He was pretty sure it looked as realistic as it felt. “ Not particularly. I just found that drinking is the fastest way to get drunk, so…” He raised his glass to Alex and gulped down the drink in it. He didn’t feel the taste except the burning sensation down his throat, which he welcomed.

“The city could really use a hero right about now,” the woman inquired. It didn’t take a genius to know whom she was talking about. Mon-El almost wanted to laugh sarcastically, but he swallowed it, knowing it would do no good to him other than angering the obviously frustrated agent even more. Instead, he straightened up, putting on his usual I-don’t-give-a-fuck act.

“Fighting rampaging creatures isn’t on my resume,” he said as casually as possible.

“Oh, that’s right, Kara told me. Beating people up for money is, though, right?” It took Mon-El every bit of his strength not to wince at that as he quickly retorted.

“Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t you go believe in somebody else, Alex?” _There surely must be a better choice than me_. “Thanks.” He was hoping Alex would give up with that, but he’d forgotten how stubborn she could be when it was her sister in question.

“I don’t believe in you, Mon-El,” she retaliated, walking next to him and putting her hand on the counter right next to him. Even though he was an alien and she was merely a human, Mon-El felt so small in her presence, like he’d done something bad to make his parents disappointed.

Well, he _did_ do something bad, disappointing both Kara and Alex, so it wasn’t like there was much difference.

“I suspect you’re a coward, and that you’d run at the first sign of danger.” _You don’t say_ , Mon-El thought, almost rolling his eyes. _I hadn’t realized that_. He couldn’t find a response other than nodding slightly, feeling bile rising to his throat. “My sister, she’s the one who believes in you,” the young woman continued. “That’s what she’s so upset with you all the time, ‘cause she thinks you have _potential_.” She’d almost said it mockingly, not-so-subtly showing she didn’t believe a word of that. “To make a difference, like she does. To be a hero.” Even though he still felt like he could throw up any second, he gathered up his courage to face Alex.

“I don’t know how,” he admitted, and how true it was. He was never the hero. He didn’t need to be one, since no one _expected_ him to be one. No one really believed in him, not even his family. And now that finally someone believed in him, he’d let her down, and he wasn’t even surprised. He felt _disgusted_ of himself.

“You can start by standing up, like the rest of us,” Alex spat out in his face before turning back to leave, not waiting for Mon-El’s reply. All he could do was to stare at her back, and think about what she’d said.

* * *

 

“Stop!”

He didn’t know how that word left his mouth as he stood at the damp street, looking at the ugly creature in front of him. It was huge, bigger than he’d imagined, which didn’t help his fear at all. A part of him, the part that always ran from the danger and not toward it, was screaming at him to turn back and leave, that this wasn’t where he was supposed to be, that he would die. He’d fought with that voice all the way to there, telling himself that if they ever found the creature he’d stand up against it, just like Alex said.

Well, he didn’t expect the creature to _appear_ right in front of him though.

He’d frozen when he saw it, his mouth open. Suddenly, the argument he seemed to be winning had flipped around, and he found himself stepping back. Running away _again_. Choosing the easy way out.

 _Kara didn’t choose the easy way out when she faced that creature, or all the others she’d defeated_.

That was what made him stop and step forward this time. Kara had believed in him, he finally had someone believing in him, he couldn’t ruin it. If he hadn’t already, at least.

The creature turned around with his voice, and Mon-El saw from the corner of his eyes that the creature’s target had managed to escape. He felt relieved, only it was short lived, because now the creature was angrier than ever and his attention was focused solely on him. He stepped back as he took a shaky breath, giving up the effort to shut down the screaming in his head.

“I regret this already,” he muttered to herself as the creature growled. Looking around, he tried to remember Kara’s short training session. He had to attack somehow, yet he didn’t think punching the creature would work. His eyes fell on the road sign on his right. Quickly he ripped it from the street, throwing it with all his strength to the creature, and…

And the creature pushed it away like it was nothing more than a bug.

Shaking his head, Mon-El charged on the creature, running to hit his legs and swipe them off from under him. He couldn’t even manage a punch before the creature grabbed him from his throat, lifting him up in the air like a doll.

“We are Parasite,” the creature said, or at least Mon-El assumed he’d said that since he couldn’t really pay attention to anything other than sticky hands on his throat and the creature’s multiple mouths, when someone threw a device on the creature’s chest. It was blinking red. Before Mon-El realized it was a bomb, it blew up, sending him down on his back, but most importantly pushing the creature away from him. He quickly stood up, walking backwards, when he noticed an armored guy next to him. He had a helmet that covered all his face except his eyes, making it impossible for him to identify the guy.

“Please tell me you’re on my side,” he said as the guy walked forward. He didn’t get a reply, though since the guy wasn’t attacking him, he assumed he was right. “Who are you?” he asked this time.

“Guardian,” the guy—Guardian—said in an electronically distorted voice. And then the guy continued, too quietly for Mon-El to understand him, yet it didn’t seem like Guardian was talking to him anyway. Maybe he was talking to himself.

Before Mon-El could decide on its truth, the creature charged on them, making him step back and throw his hands up in defense. Yet the creature came in contact with the Guardian’s arm, or the shield that just appeared on his arm, which sent him flying back the way he came. Mon-El’s heart had leaped to his throat. He thanked to whoever this Guardian dude was, because without him he’d be a splat on the street by then.

The creature stood up, taking the car in his hands and threw it. At first Mon-El was glad it’d missed him, but then he realized to whom the car was flying to: a young girl no older than ten. He acted out of instinct, getting under the car before it hit the girl and grabbing it. The force made his arms ache, yet it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. “Get her out of here, now!” he yelled to the woman next to the girl before his arms gave up. He’d just dropped the car to the side and turned around to help Guardian fight the creature when something red crashed into its chest and sent it to the ground. _Supergirl_.

The relief he felt at that moment, when he realized Kara was okay, was indescribable. A smile tugged at his lips as he looked at her, all strong and confident as she landed in front of the creature. “You wanna change the world,” she told the creature when it stood up. “And change is good when you finally become what you meant to be.” The creature walked up to Kara, making Mon-El step forward, yet he stopped when Kara continued. _She wouldn’t take on the guy that almost_ killed _her without having a plan, right?_

“But you were never meant to become this. Last chance. Let me help you.” He was about to leap forward and shake some sense into Kara, tell her that the creature didn’t understand from sense, when he stopped himself. Kara would never give up on anyone before trying. Something tugged at his heart. Of course she wouldn’t. Someone who believed in him despite everything wouldn’t give up on even such a creature that was utterly lost.

Yet when the creature growled in response, Kara’s eyes narrowed as she took battle stance, almost daring the creature to fight her. Mon-El realized something was glowing in her hands as the creature jumped on her. At first he thought it was draining her again, but no, this was something else. Kara was _giving_ the creature something.

“There’s something as too much power. Plutonium 339.” _The what?_ Mon-El thought, not that the answer mattered. “I’m sorry.” Somehow, the way she said those two words squeezed Mon-El’s chest. How could he have disappointed her? He vowed to himself, at that moment, that no matter what happened from now on, he’d never upset her. He’d do anything to make her happy and proud, to be the guy she thought he was.

And maybe, in time, he would become that guy.

After a few seconds, the creature turned purple, and then white, beginning to shine, before it exploded. Mon-El ducked to avoid any damage the explosion made. When he stood up, he realized Kara was walking up to him.

He wanted to run again. He didn’t know why. He didn’t feel ready to face Kara after what he’d caused, even though he did stood up to the creature. He still didn’t feel worthy. Yet this time, despite the scream in his head, his feet were planted to the ground. He couldn’t have escaped even if he wanted to.

“Is he…” he asked Kara, making sure the creature was definitely gone. He got a nod as an answer, as Kara stared at her in a way that made her think she could punch him. He wouldn’t stop her. Maybe he needed that punch. But she stopped instead, a small smile pulling her lips.

“You showed up,” she said. Somehow, even though a part of her did look surprised, there was something else in her eyes that made Mon-El think she expected it. Like she wasn’t surprised at all. He nodded as he took a deep breath.

“Nobody is more surprised than me.”

“Thank you,” Kara said sincerely. All he could do was nod as Kara turned to the Guardian. He didn’t have anything to say. He didn’t even feel like he deserved that gratitude.

But someday he might be, if not today. Someday, he might be someone Kara could be proud of. He could be someone he himself could be proud of.

He hoped Kara knew if that ever happened, it’d all be thanks to her.

* * *

_And if I could tell you one thing_  
_It would be:_  
_You are never as broken as you think you are._  
_Sure, you have a couple of scars,_  
_and a couple of bad memories,_  
_but then again_

_all great heroes do._

 


End file.
